• MissVaniaSpeaks/Successful Relationships

Improving your Sexual Life in 12 MINUTES

Step #1: Nurture arousal.

Step #2: Devote 12 minutes (or less) to super-connected sex.

Step #3: Turn ordinary activities into gutsy and erotic adventures.

Step #4: Hit hot-button positioning for maximum outcome Sex therapists say it’s helpful to keep your libido on alert so you can be receptive to sex

at a moment’s notice.


step #1: Arousal is a state of sexual excitement that sends messages to our brain, which then creates physical changes and sensations throughout our whole

body, particularly our genitals, readying us for sex of any kind. When you’re in a state

of arousal, follow-through orgasm methods are quicker and easier to achieve.

You don’t have to schedule a special time in your busy life to accomplish this. Just follow these suggestions to help you stay aroused even while you dash through your

hectic day:

• Cultivate sexual fantasies during ordinary daily activities—for example,

while you’re driving to work or shopping in the supermarket. Sex therapists say visualizing intimacy before engaging in sex heightens your level

of arousal.


Research has shown that imagining yourself in a sexy situation can stimulate some of the same body sensations as actually being

in that situation.

• Wear sexy underwear (or no underwear) even when you’re not planning

on making love.


• Enjoy erotic literature. Experts suggest saving pornography for when

you’re with your partner.


• Feast on spicy foods, because hot pepper releases some of the same endorphins as sex does.


• Add red to your wardrobe or environment. Chromologists say red is the

color of arousal and gets the heart pumping.


• Soap yourself in the shower the way your lover would.

• Cross and uncross your legs while sitting. Physiologists explain that rubbing your thighs together increases blood flow to your genitals, which

gives a tingly, aroused feeling.


• Masturbate in the bathroom or shower, or before going to sleep or getting out of bed in the morning. Knowing that you can control your own sexual pleasure with masturbation is something that can transform anyone’s

experience of sex into something that is always positive and pleasurable

and never limited. Research shows a positive attitude toward masturbation increases rates of arousal.


• Keep things wet and carry travel-size bottles of lubricant. Wetter makes

for better action—and easier efforts, too. A new study by sexual health researchers at Indiana University found that women who used lubricant in

and out of the bedroom reported significantly higher levels of satisfaction

and pleasure.

• Get your heart racing. You don’t have to take up sky diving but do take

some risks during the day, whether it’s volunteering to make a toast at

a party or taking a different route home from work. Giving yourself an

adrenaline rush spikes the brain’s natural amphetamines—dopamine

and norepinephrine—thereby making you more aroused.


• Exercise when you can. Besides helping you feel good about your body,

exercising elevates your mood, increases your stamina, and boosts your

libido. Women: Try Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic muscles and

intensify sexual sensations. You can do these while you’re sitting at your

desk, waiting on line at the cashier, or washing the dishes.


step #2: devote 12 Minutes (or less) to super-connected sex.

Do you think 12 minutes just isn’t enough time to have delicious, delirious, super-satisfying sex? Well, think again. Recent research at McGill University Health Centre in

Montreal, Canada, used thermal imaging to measure increased blood flow to men and

women’s genital regions. The study concluded that both men and women reach peak

arousal in 12 minutes or less; men reach peak sexual arousal in 665 seconds—about

10 minutes—while women arrive at maximal arousal in 743 seconds. The McGill research gives heat to the power of super-charged, fast sex.


And that’s the way we like it. According to a survey led by U.S. and Canadian sex

therapists, most people believe that 7 to 13 minutes is the “desirable” amount of time

to have sex; 3 to 7 minutes is “adequate,” and anywhere between 20 to 30 minutes

is just “too long.” Turns out, couples who are juggling family, careers, and a love life

aren’t the only ones to appreciate furious, frantic, high-speed sex.

But even 12 minutes can seem like an unattainable eternity when schedules are

at a fever pitch, so we suggest couples make a four-pronged pact with their partner

that states:

• At least twice a week, devote 12 minutes for

quick, quality sex.

• Remain open to making the most out of sexual opportunities that

present themselves, no matter what activity you're engaged in.

• If not in the mood or it’s absolutely the wrong time, let your

partner know.

•Do not take rejection personally but will look forward to the next

chance we get.


step #3: turn ordinary activities into erotic adventures.

Coming up with ways to fire up lust within 12 minutes while you’re working around a

tight schedule may seem impossible. Don’t bother wrapping your head around it. Among the possibilities: Deliver an amazing blow job in under 10

minutes while your guy is shaving. Make Scrabble sexy. Pull off an unforgettable hand

job during halftime. Have sex on the spin-cycle (literally). And dozens more!



To keep desire fired up, it is recommended to engage in at least two erotic activities a week. If it’s possible to increase the frequency, don’t hold back—be brave

and go for it. Research shows the more you get it on, the more you want to get it on,

because sex makes testosterone surge through our bodies. (Women have testosterone,

too!) And testosterone is the hormone that makes you crave sex.


Hopefully you’ll know when the time is right to try an activity out. For example,

it’s probably not the best idea to launch into a sexy striptease while he’s in the middle

of doing the taxes, or to pounce on her when she’s just walked in after a bad day at

the office. Communication and awareness of each other’s needs are basic keys to an

exciting fast encounter.


step #4: Hit Hot-button positioning for Maximum outcome.

Couples should beware not to place too much importance on the orgasm itself; the

goal of sex is not necessarily to reach one. Turning the heat up by cuddling for 12

minutes can be just as emotionally satisfying as climaxing. As long as both partners

are enjoying themselves and experiencing an intimate connection, there really is no

reason to feel pressure to achieve orgasm.











Credits: Robin Westen

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