I Have Been Goshted! Now What?
Getting ghosted might be a newer way of saying it. But someone suddenly “disappearing” in a relationship is nothing new. Although it can be very painful for the person who was ghosted.
Being ghosted essentially means someone leaves or stands you up without warning. No phone calls, no text messages, and no explanations.
It’s more common in first dates or early on in relationships. It’s very common in our online dating world. However, it’s also common to get ghosted in a long-term, serious relationship. Unfortunately, that often makes the experience more painful.
Dealing with getting ghosted in a serious relationship is difficult. While you can’t ignore the feelings completely, there are things you can do to make the process of getting through it easier.
Give Yourself Time to Get Over It:
Any kind of breakup or separation in a long-term relationship is difficult. Especially when the breakup blindsides you. After all, experiencing the pain of your partner simply “vanishing” is dreadful.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is acting as though it doesn’t bother them or trying to move on right away.
While moving on eventually is important, it’s equally important to give yourself time to grieve the relationship. Let your emotions out and find someone who will listen to how you feel.
It can help to have a support system in place. Friends, family, or even a therapist can help you deal with the things you might be feeling.
There needs to be a mourning period when something like this happens in a relationship.
Keep in mind that it won’t last forever. In fact, you can give yourself a “cut off” period. But, before that time, don’t be afraid to really set your emotions free and do what you need to grieve.
It’s tempting to think about what could have possibly gone wrong in your relationship for your partner to just leave. But, that often leads to over-analyzing, and it can set you up for a lot of extra pain.
The fact is, you may never fully know why they chose to leave. It could be something you did that they didn’t like, or it could be something going on in their own head. The possible reasons why they left are endless.
Trying to figure it all out will only cause you more pain. Plus, it won’t allow you the freedom to fully move on.
Sometimes, relationships that end in ghosting don’t have closure. Again, this can be difficult to handle. Yet, trying to keep in contact with your partner or figuring it out on your own will keep you “trapped” in the confines of the breakup for far too long.
You have to find closure within yourself in order to fully move on.
Think About What You’ve Learned:
Whether a relationship is good or bad, we always learn something from it. Once you’ve gone through a period of mourning and you’re ready to move on in your life, it’s a good idea to think about what you experienced from your relationship.
Then, consider how you can use that to move forward in life.
Relationships help us to grow. You may never really understand why your partner left. Actually, that’s not even the most important thing. What you should focus on instead is how the entire experience can help you in your next relationship. Or, even with friendships or your personal growth.
If you’re really struggling after being ghosted in a serious relationship, don’t worry.
The pain and confusion won’t last forever.